jjustme -

oh, i dunno what to say.. seriosly. im a bad girl, bad bad bad. not only in terms of eating.. fuck. i really hate myself, but i can't help.. i just want him.. all the time. and badly.. i don't mean my boyfriend. i wanna love my boyfriend, but he donen't make me happy.. he dosen't make me feel good. OH GOD, what should i do!? please.. i wanna live with my boyfriend, i don't wanna be unfaithful :'( i want a future with him, not with.. him.

At Cchristmas, i haven't eaten any food .. just cookies. it sucks. i know. but yesterday i just ate about 400 calories. proud. today i have only been drinking black coffee.