nothing helps.
damn, feels like im going to fall asleep right now. on my computer. haha.. im wweird.
my head!!
baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah :c not eating, not eating, not eating.
sweet :)
will get some pepsi max soon.
just drink, just drink.
sweet :)
will get some pepsi max soon.
just drink, just drink.
new showered.
mjao. school soon
ate a lot
i ate a lot today. much chicken, and some bread, and some corn. nad some peanuts, but before i havn't eat in five days. and tomorrow i will start to not eat again :)
dunno
school tomorrow, dunno how i feel about it. im gonna hide inside a cover of make-up.
peace
peace
YAY!!
i've lost 1 kilo in five days!!!!
RIGHT NOW MY LIFE IS MADE OF ROSES!
RIGHT NOW MY LIFE IS MADE OF ROSES!
sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeet
im gonna buy this shoes
going great
i haven't eat for three days now. i feel good, acutally! i have drink a lot of green tea and water. cucumber-water! <3 soon i got my guitarlesson and then i'll go to the gym with my best friend :)
sweet
sweet
nothing in ma' head
and im dead. DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN. why do they always make me cry?
some pleasure for you..
Shoes you wore today? - black heels
Your weaknesses? - no one knows
Fear? - life
Your goal? - be happy, always.
Pepsi or Coke? - pepsi max.
McDonalds or Burger King? - no thanks
Adidas or Nike? - adidas
Chocolate or vanilla? - chocolate ffs! <3
Do you swear? - yes.
DO you sing? - yes.
Showers you every day? - hmm almost.
Do you like school? - yes and no.
Do you believe in yourself? - sometimes.
Do you agree with your parents? - no
Do you have in the past month ..
Drinking alcohol? - yes, this weekend.
Shopped? - maybe, dunno.
Eaten an entire box of muesli? - damn no.
Eaten sushi? - No, ugh.
Been on stage? - you might say.
Skate? - No
Baked? - yes!
Stole something? - yes.
Have you ever ..
Passed out or been really drunk? - yes
Been called a whore? - yes
Been depressed? - yes
In the future
What do you want to be when you grow old? - i don't wanna grow old.
Would you kill someone? - i don't think so
Would you die for someone? - yes
Number of piercings? - just ears
Number of tattoos? - no, but soon one.
Number of things I regret:? - oh, i on't know.
How old are you? - soon 17th
How do you think you have it at home? - ok
Do you have good self-esteem? - sometimes.
Can you trust yourself? - no.
How do you feel your life is? - good!
Do you have a good life, do you think? - yes, it has its moments.
Would you change anything in your life? - yes
Are you happy about your body? - No
Something you want to change over your body? - yes, much.
Can you say that you think you're cute? - sometimes. But no one wants to be cute?
Love
Do you have a boyfriend? - yes!
Do you like anyone now? - yes.
Called? - ******
Do you find yourself with some guy? - many.
Do you like long or short conditions most? - long
Do you have good friends? - I have the finest friends.
Do you like being with your friends? - yes, of course.
Do you have many friends? - yes!
Your weaknesses? - no one knows
Fear? - life
Your goal? - be happy, always.
Pepsi or Coke? - pepsi max.
McDonalds or Burger King? - no thanks
Adidas or Nike? - adidas
Chocolate or vanilla? - chocolate ffs! <3
Do you swear? - yes.
DO you sing? - yes.
Showers you every day? - hmm almost.
Do you like school? - yes and no.
Do you believe in yourself? - sometimes.
Do you agree with your parents? - no
Do you have in the past month ..
Drinking alcohol? - yes, this weekend.
Shopped? - maybe, dunno.
Eaten an entire box of muesli? - damn no.
Eaten sushi? - No, ugh.
Been on stage? - you might say.
Skate? - No
Baked? - yes!
Stole something? - yes.
Have you ever ..
Passed out or been really drunk? - yes
Been called a whore? - yes
Been depressed? - yes
In the future
What do you want to be when you grow old? - i don't wanna grow old.
Would you kill someone? - i don't think so
Would you die for someone? - yes
Number of piercings? - just ears
Number of tattoos? - no, but soon one.
Number of things I regret:? - oh, i on't know.
How old are you? - soon 17th
How do you think you have it at home? - ok
Do you have good self-esteem? - sometimes.
Can you trust yourself? - no.
How do you feel your life is? - good!
Do you have a good life, do you think? - yes, it has its moments.
Would you change anything in your life? - yes
Are you happy about your body? - No
Something you want to change over your body? - yes, much.
Can you say that you think you're cute? - sometimes. But no one wants to be cute?
Love
Do you have a boyfriend? - yes!
Do you like anyone now? - yes.
Called? - ******
Do you find yourself with some guy? - many.
Do you like long or short conditions most? - long
Do you have good friends? - I have the finest friends.
Do you like being with your friends? - yes, of course.
Do you have many friends? - yes!
omg best weekend!
it have been the best weekend ever (without my boyfriend). ***** and i was out yeatserday night. ooh, im not gonna tell you now.. but later.
kisses
kisses
slept over
SLEEP OVER PARTY! haha.. kind of.. me and my friend had a cola-zero party.. :) and then we saw movies and then we fell a sleep. haha.. she was sweet this morning when i had go, i slept and i was clothing. then i woke her up and she just mumbled something. i was like "helloo, sweetie i got to go!!" then she woke up and "what!? already!?" and i "yes, but keep sleeping"
haha.. it was sweet. soon **** and i going to the gym. again! :D love that word.. when its something good. ahhaha
kisses
haha.. it was sweet. soon **** and i going to the gym. again! :D love that word.. when its something good. ahhaha
kisses
proud
yesterday i was at the gym and i ran in one hour, than i trained strength.
!!!
i only ate some crisps and popcorn on all day
!!!
i only ate some crisps and popcorn on all day
today
+260
+180
+275
+50 (some milk in ma' coffee)
= 765 calories
you know, if you eat less than 900 calories/day you'll lose 2 pounds/week.
+180
+275
+50 (some milk in ma' coffee)
= 765 calories
you know, if you eat less than 900 calories/day you'll lose 2 pounds/week.
the beauty life is made of white roses
im gonna do that tattoo on my sway. love that words, beauty, life, roses..
what dosen't kill you makes you wish it did
still fever.. and my head hurts so fucking much. i feel awful. my best friends boyfriend dumped her yesterday, not in a bad way.. he says he still loves her but not in the same way she loves him. it sucks
dieting
have you heard about this site? nlslimming! they sell diet pills, and i want it now!!!!!!!! oh, damn i wish i was 18 so i could buy it! i hate to just be 16, soon 17.. :c ONE YEAR LEFT!
today
+100
+180
+205
= 485 calories
+180
+205
= 485 calories
Skins
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ejBt2MU4sL0
LOOK AT THIS! OH IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY. he's so sweet, i wanna die! Luke Pasqualino is so good, i love him,so sick. beautiful. im about to download the series right now.. oh can't wait til them are finish!
LOOK AT THIS! OH IM SO IN LOVE WITH THIS GUY. he's so sweet, i wanna die! Luke Pasqualino is so good, i love him,so sick. beautiful. im about to download the series right now.. oh can't wait til them are finish!
9
nine is an upside down six. you always say that.. never six is an upside down nine.. right?
oh, my thoughts.. i get it if you can not cope with them.
i start on today. yesterday was awful. i ate sandwiches and sandwiches and sandwiches. and i think im allergic to gluten 'cause i feel so bad right now.. my stomach hurts so badly. but it can be other reasons for that.. i know.
oh, my thoughts.. i get it if you can not cope with them.
i start on today. yesterday was awful. i ate sandwiches and sandwiches and sandwiches. and i think im allergic to gluten 'cause i feel so bad right now.. my stomach hurts so badly. but it can be other reasons for that.. i know.
fever.. again
i dunno know where it comes from.. this fucking fever.. but i have an idea. now, im drinking green tea and eating oatmeal for breakfast. clock is about 11.55 am. soon 12.. i wish i was i a warm country, with my boyfriend. he's somewhere in Arabia.. that bitch!! Hahha.. just jealous. i really have to study but i don't feel for it, my head hurts. i hit it yesterday and have the world's bump now.. its not fear. this world isn't fear. i have a test in voice and movement (its one of my subjects) tomorrow and i have national tests in math on thursday, and on friday we have civics test. this week suck SO HARD! ooh, i wish i was dead. but.. everything is poetry
life
life is a competition and if you lose, you will always be a loser. i think thats true, allway win, never lose. its how it is!
hate the word "if.."
if i have.. if a could.. if i.. fuck this.
i wanna sleep! NOW! :(((((((((((((
i wanna sleep! NOW! :(((((((((((((
Sometimes
im scared
just scared. now. clock is almost 4 a.m and i can't sleep. i feel awfull. i feel sick. i feel terrible. i wanna die, seriously. i know i can't live with what i've done. i have been a fool. fuck im scared. :( tomorrow will be like hell, im going to fall asleep at the first lesson, i know that. but what can i do? im not tired ..
everything is poetry baby.
everything is poetry baby.
ma dream
sometimes i wish for snow, and when it comes i don't want it. sometimes i wish for wind, but when it comes i don't want it. every fucking day i wish for sun, but it never comes.
my dream is bigger than yours. i know that. but i don't know anything at all. damn, complicated.. isn't i? yea, i know. im so fucking complicated. it's fucked up. im fucked up.
im going to my best friend tomorrow. he lives in ******** and it takes about two hours with bus. i love to sit alone, in my own world and just draw. and that's what im going to do! :) i can't wait! :D
love
my dream is bigger than yours. i know that. but i don't know anything at all. damn, complicated.. isn't i? yea, i know. im so fucking complicated. it's fucked up. im fucked up.
im going to my best friend tomorrow. he lives in ******** and it takes about two hours with bus. i love to sit alone, in my own world and just draw. and that's what im going to do! :) i can't wait! :D
love
-
im sick.
today
.. binge.
dreams
i wanna get so thin im almost air. i wanna have a weight around 100 pounds. i wanna eat ice cream. i want summer. now.
im sorry
clear your room of teenage thoughts now
you said: make your choice
take an independent decision
i held a hand against your warm skin
you said: close your door, we have something to sort out
you said: make your choice
take an independent decision
i held a hand against your warm skin
you said: close your door, we have something to sort out
i've borrowed my life
its fucking true. and i got to return it now.
oh, fuck
let me wake up from this horrible nightmare.. :(
everybody's friend is nobody's friend
a false friend is worse than an enemy
everyone has their secrets
i just borrow my life
a group of friends must sometimes be repaired
a friend give a further chance
everyone has their secrets
i just borrow my life
a group of friends must sometimes be repaired
a friend give a further chance
today
=738 calories
is it gonna happen today?
im scared. but i got to do something.
coffee time
mm.. love this black coffee in the evenings..
today
breakfast: 180
snack: coffee with some milk: 60
lunch: 180
dinner: 321
= 741 calories
snack: coffee with some milk: 60
lunch: 180
dinner: 321
= 741 calories
- 0,5 hours swimming
today
breakfast: 180 calories
lunch: 206 calories
dinner: 229 calories
= 615
lunch: 206 calories
dinner: 229 calories
= 615
- 1,5 hours gym
my tongue burns
damn, i just are lunch and it was the hottest soup i ever eaten! Only 175 calories :) but i had some paprika in (31 calories). my lunch was 206 calories. im so damn measured!! and thirsy.. haha
see yea
see yea
today
+ 506 calories
- 0,5 hours swimming
Dinner
spinach, paprika, cottage cheese, white egg and corn!
just 316 calories :)
just 316 calories :)
time for lunch
the moment
please give me the perfekt moment. i want it. now. yea.. i know i can't decide everything, but i wanna do.. :) when school starts again on monday, im gonna stop eating. everything. no thanks, im measured. no thanks i don't feel well. no thanks, i just ate.
for real, i don't wanna be anyone else, but i don't wanna be myselft either. and that fucking sucks.
for real, i don't wanna be anyone else, but i don't wanna be myselft either. and that fucking sucks.
drinking pepsi max.. again
damn, i really got to stop drinking this shit! im gonna die of dehydration!! im high, as usual.. :( not good. and yes, im talking about diabetes.. nothing else! now i wanna die, but not of dehydration
goodbye
goodbye
DAMN IM JEALOUS!
IM SO FUCKING JEALOUS OF MY OWN BOYFRIEND, haha.. fucking sick.
helloo.
i've a sore throat and my chicken diet didn't work so well.. why can't i? P sent me a mail today, im in! i'll be in the beauty contests in April! isn't that great? But he asked me if i could be slimmer at the waist and over the ass, not much.. just three centimeters.. he said it was easy to fix. i hope he's right!
KISSES
KISSES
im off to the city
-
things r going well
yea, i think i can do this.. maybe? haha.. i know there have only been two days! but.. i feel so much better.. :) i'll train soon, i lose more calories!
later im going to meet a friend, and she says she's going to buy new shorts but im sure its gonna be more than that, at least for me.. haha (: shopping makes me feel good, isn't that weird? oh, i dunno ..
everything isn't great then.. i have to fix this situation wtih Z and X. :c
later im going to meet a friend, and she says she's going to buy new shorts but im sure its gonna be more than that, at least for me.. haha (: shopping makes me feel good, isn't that weird? oh, i dunno ..
everything isn't great then.. i have to fix this situation wtih Z and X. :c
today
= 200 calories
lovely food-day
hey :) i drank tea for breakfast and ate some carrots and cucumber for lunch! I feel great. i'll meet some friends tonight, i fix me right now
today
= 267 calories
- 0,5 hours swimming
im so good, ha? :D
2011
yea, its a new year now.. but i haven't noticed any difference...
good day, i think
i was swimming today! feels so great! and now i have started on a new diet. i'll show you later :) but today, so far, i've just eaten 137 calories! :)))) and i have ate both breakfast and lunch ;) sweeet, i say! But now i'll fix me cause im gone to the center!
im not gonna lie to you
you are my best friend, diary. i know i can tell you everything.. but this is so hard to tell. i don't know how to say it. oh god, if you're out there... please help me!! what im doing is so wrong, and he should figure it out.. but he doesn't!? oh, i don't understand. I will call them X and Z. and im gonna write everything later.
see yea
see yea
