new start tomorrow.
god, please help me. help me get throgh this! the only thing i wanna do is to get skinny, why can't i stop eating? i know im not overweight.. rather the opposite. but still, i wanna get thin. so why, why can't you help me? oh, god, im sorry for all the bad things i had ever done, im sorry if i disappointed you.. but please, forgive me :c
im looking forward to tomorrow, then i'll start over, again.
im looking forward to tomorrow, then i'll start over, again.
please, im sorry
i can't stand this situation. ****** hates me now, i dunno what to do :'( i just wanna be liked.. and i just wanna be liked for who i am, is that too much? i really need a hug right now. im scared, what if we don't become friends again.. i would die then :'(
no fever
today i've no fever. i feel kind of good i think! im home from school but on monday ill go, i promise. i've just eaten oatmeal and a apple for today, but its going to be more, but just little. trust me! i hope this weekend is going to be good, ive to performances and a dance-casting to do. feels good, i think! i have a problem, i dunno what i should buy to my boyfriend for chistmas! please, help me!!
kisses
kisses
bah
nothing was as i had planned.. fuck
yeah
its cold, as hell.. i don't wanna go out. its cold inside. its cold inside me! my skin don't burns anymore.. i got to do some tea. see yea
r u alive?
how do you know you just aren't in a dream? how could you know what's right and what's wrong? to kill somebody, to shout somebody, to see someone die. is that a crime? to take someone's life is that the same thing as giving someone's death? curiosity is a word i love. i am so fucking curious all the time, my boyfriend says that.
what are you dreaming about? i can ask you once, twice.. but i'll never get an answer. i know that. cause' you can't tell me the answer. i love the song what a wonderful world of Katie Melua. it's about a world, a good world. a world i wanna live in. and i think to myself what a wonderful world...
what are you dreaming about? i can ask you once, twice.. but i'll never get an answer. i know that. cause' you can't tell me the answer. i love the song what a wonderful world of Katie Melua. it's about a world, a good world. a world i wanna live in. and i think to myself what a wonderful world...
i'll always be a fairy
-
3 days, bad girl
fuck this. why can't i? in three days have i eaten to much, and thats really to much! fuck. today for example .. oatmeal, cream, spinach soup.. :c okey, tomorrow will be better i hope!
wish me good luck
wish me good luck
weekend
my best friend have been here all weekend so i haven't wrote. i've eaten so fucking much :cc
07.07 am
im kid of tired, but it dosen't matter. its english-test today.. :c i don't look forward to it. i've study a little yesterday, and read a bit now. just wish me good luck! :D
morning!
kind of tired! but i got to go to school soon.
kisses
kisses
breakfast
i just woke up. i've get dressed, im wearing a white mini-dress (looks like something you wear at christmas) and grey jeans! Now its time for my oatmeal :) today in school we're going to some museum, a design exhibition. i dunno if its gonna be fun, but i hope :)
kisses
kisses
Yes, i can!
today is a good day. i was in the city with ***** and bought christmas gifts! :) awesome.
hugs
hugs
feel good :)
hey guys!
i just arrived home, i've been in the gym :) it was awesome, i fought as hell! and afterwards i felt like i could collapse.. seriously, it was a nice feeling! now i'll get dressed.
kisses
i just arrived home, i've been in the gym :) it was awesome, i fought as hell! and afterwards i felt like i could collapse.. seriously, it was a nice feeling! now i'll get dressed.
kisses
i've to write, sorry
why am i still alive?`cuz i got the best friends in the whole fucking world. and i got my lovely boyfriend. i live for them, they are my life. i don't care about school, seriously.. ofcourse i wanna have good grades but i care more about being thin and beautiful. i know i'll get so disappointed in myself when i have my grades in my hand. i know i'll to cry. but still, i can't care. its engraved in my skin;
don't eat, you've to be perfect.
when you're like air, you're almost perfect.
you can't eat that, you're too fat.
you're not worth that food.
it echoes in my head, over and over again. can't help it. your hands are everywhere. i walk beside you but falling behind, i can't run more. my dreams are lost and yours are invisible. how do i do?
don't eat, you've to be perfect.
when you're like air, you're almost perfect.
you can't eat that, you're too fat.
you're not worth that food.
it echoes in my head, over and over again. can't help it. your hands are everywhere. i walk beside you but falling behind, i can't run more. my dreams are lost and yours are invisible. how do i do?
i've to pull myself
what the fuck is happening!??! :ccc
stressed
-
hey darlings
Schools out and im finally home. i've handle myself good today! and im not hungry :DD drinking tea right now, im going to study some math later.. or i've to do it right now.. but haha! no :)
eaten calories yet: 300 calories :)
eaten calories yet: 300 calories :)
hey you
shower, brb
dunno what to wear!
oh, help me choose! i dunno what to wear tonight. i wanna look lovely, wonderful, beautiful.. a dress had been nice, a slim dress. i wanna look skinny. By the way! i haven't ate yet :) proud. But now, i have to choose!
kisses
kisses
